The Crazies

Hollywood has run out of ideas. For a while now movies have been remakes or adaptations of comic books. The Crazies, out Friday Feb. 25, is no different. It is a remake of George A. Romero’s 1973 movie of the same name. I haven’t seen the original, but this one isn’t worth the price of admission.

At the first high school baseball game of the season, Rory Hamill comes strolling onto the outfield, holding a shotgun, with a crazy look in his eyes. The next day, Bill Farnum locks his wife and son in a closet and burns his house down. The town’s people are going crazy and no one knows why.

Deputy Russell Clank (Joe Anderson) remembers that there was a report of a plane crash in the swamp that feeds the town’s water supply. Mysterious black suburbans are spotted as the town’s people continue to act weird. From there, the plot gets stupid.

In a nutshell, The Crazies is a cross between every zombie movie and 28 Days later, only not as well made. It is not one of those movies that are so bad it is good, it is just bad. It is a one trick pony. Just as you think it is has been a few minutes since the last attack, the camera pans to one of the main characters. Of course, there is a psycho in the background.

You see the infected crazy, they stand still foreshadowing their attack and then they try to hack at the cast. Every move is telegraphed, even the jump out and scare you moments. After a while, it gets old. Unfortunately, that is long before the movie ends.

The government’s reaction is like every other contagion movie where they try to contain the area. Some of their methods don’t make sense. Soldiers gather up the town’s people into buses, to one location. For some reason, they also boot all the cars. It is used as a plot device so that the Sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) and his merry crew can’t just drive away, but it seems like a huge hassle. Why not just shoot all the engines with a high caliber round? That will immobilize the vehicles. You know who has a lot of high caliber rounds? The military!

In the end, it is all predictable. They follow the standard horror movie formula. Split the group up as often as possible so someone has to come to the rescue. If the whole world was out to get you, would you really let your unarmed pregnant wife out of your sight?

If you like suspenseful, gory horror movies, this isn’t for you. Skip it and spend your $10 elsewhere. If you see it, you really are crazy.


*This is a movie review that they didn't have room for. As a clip it does show my style. And Hopefully it will save people from renting it on DVD.